What a Roller Coaster Ride

 

The instant I saw her face, I knew. I asked Mark if I could request more information. As soon as he said sure, I sent the email I had already written. 

 

I held the photos of our sweet girl for 2 weeks. I had prayed and talked at length with Mark. We weren’t ready to fully sign on just yet. In the time it took us to commit, another family had put her on hold and was filling out an application. Although I was happy for her, I would be lying not to say I was devastated. I knew that He had a plan. I knew there was a child for us. I knew that I should be thrilled she had a family (and I was thankful for that). Still, it looked like the end of our story.

 

But God. Three weeks later everything changed.

 

I searched every couple days to make sure the post of the little girl that grabbed my heart was changed to “found a family”. When it hadn’t changed after 3 weeks, I decided to reach out to the agency again. I found out that the family wasn’t sure they were ready to continue. They had one week left of the month-long hold to complete their application. I let the case worker know that we were definitely still interested if they decided not to proceed. That was the moment I started to hold my breath.

 

It was May 1, 2020 that I received the message that they decided not to move forward and that sweet face was once again available. This began the longest week of my life began, while I waited for Mark to catch up and get on board with the path I just knew we would take. Running to our precious girl!

After a week, I approached Mark looking for a “yes”. I had presented options of how we could finance another adoption. We had poured over videos and the little medical info we had in order to assess where this sweet girl was at, what her future might hold, and possible limitations. I had been praying for over a month. So, knowing the next day was Friday and we had officially been looking at her file for a week, it was time to move. 

He told me he needed a week to pray about it...

 

I was, ummm, a little miffed. To be honest, I was quite upset and didn’t hide it. Another week??? What had he been doing? I had presented all of the information I had. I had made a very good case. We had decided we would adopt another child. But, how does one argue with “I’ll pray about it”? So, I gave him the quiet treatment (to let him pray ), probably closed a few doors and cupboards with a little extra force, and cried in the bathroom more than once that evening. Fairly certain I was pretty miserable to be around.

 

I wasn't aware that he was actually planning the biggest surprise ever in just 2 days. Mark worked frantically in the 2.5 hours that I was downstairs that Friday afternoon to put it all together. He videoed each of the children telling me something they wanted to thank me for and a reason they loved me. He called our agency, put our sweet daughter on hold, started all the paperwork, and got it all sent to his church email (since we share everything and there are no secrets in this marriage).

 

Then, Sunday morning before the online service he sat all of us down (the kids were giddy with excitement) and played the video. There they all were and I watched through tears. However, the best part was the end when he came on and told me there was one more that wanted to say something... then I saw her precious face. 

 

I spent the rest of that evening with him, filling out the remaining paperwork and emailing about a Homestudy to get started on our journey!

Financing This Journey

  

I’m honestly shaking with excitement, thankfulness, and awe! Let me explain.

When we started this adoption, I figured we might be able to raise 5,000. I had done the calculations and knew that this adoption would cost much more than any previous adoptions. I figured that, after raising 5,000, we would need to cover about 60,000 with loans. I spent hours snowballing debt and determining how to pay it off in 4 years. Then, friends and family showed up in BIG ways, supporting us through donations, sales, and matching challenges. With your help, we have raised 23,400! We have also been blessed with two adoption grants totaling 7,000. We have saved and set aside all that we could, so we have an adoption account with 12,000 in it.

 

I stood amazed last week as I reveled in what this meant. We would only need one loan for about half. This means I could pay it off in about a year and a half.

 

But wait!!!!! It just got BETTER! Our third stimulus is pending in our account ready to drop on Wednesday. Before you calculate, this is HUGE! But, it’s even bigger than that! NOW, we have a huge stimulus payment ready to be deposited and transferred straight to our adoption savings account. Do you know what this means?!?!?!

 

ONLY 8,000 and we will be fully funded!!! You all, I don’t even know how to process this all. We have NEVER been fully funded. We have borrowed, used inheritance, taken out home equity loans, worked extra hours… Our God AMAZES me!!

 

I doubted. So often I doubted. I would lower the amount we posted as a goal. I would limit the number of puzzle pieces, so that half a puzzle wouldn’t be left. I doubted. But, that didn’t stop God. Through prayers and financial gifts that were understandably difficult during a pandemic, you have brought us here! From 65,000 to 8,000! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adoption Artwork

When we started this adoption, we knew the deck was stacked against us for raising funds. We were fully prepared to get loans to cover every amount that would be needed. When we commit to an adoption, we come prepared to pay. We had calculated monthly payments and amounts needed.

However, we also believe that fundraising is an opportunity. It’s a chance for others to join in support. (There are many ways to support us and prayer is the biggest. We thank everyone for their prayers!!) Knowing that this was our 10^th child and 8^th international adoption had us very concerned. Plus, a pandemic had just started and we had no idea that it would be of this magnitude or its effects this long-lasting. So, amidst pay cuts, time reductions, and job losses, you all have given more than we could have ever imagined!

We started with a puzzle to help get us raise the initial $5000. We figured if we could raise that much, we would be lucky. We started with a goal of $34,000 total. Sadly, I doubted that we would ever come close to that much and reduced it to $15,000. Little did I know. Once again, we learned that we should never limit what God can do. That puzzle filled up fast and our totals have far exceeded that $15,000 limit I put on it.

We saw that donations were still coming in and we wanted a way to honor those as well. We didn’t want something that would limit us to a certain number. That is how our latest artwork began. We decided to start with a wooden plaque that says “Every Family has a Story, Welcome to Ours – Built On Love”. This speaks to how our family has grown and what it is based on – LOVE. We then added hooks that can hold as many hearts as needed. Each time a donation is made, a heart is added. These hearts are personalized. The donating family gives us a word and/or verse to add to the heart. We also write their name on the back. 

This has quickly become my favorite adoption artwork yet. I love watching our children get excited when a new heart is added. We all love reading through the verses and words people have selected. I love watching it grow and change. I love that it is a daily reminder of the support we have.

Switching Paths in an Adoption Journey

 

It was almost one year ago that I saw the picture that would forever change our family…

Let me back up a little. I had come home with Emilyn just over half a year (October 2016) and my heart started calling me back to China. I began advocating for the sweetest little girl that absolutely tugged at my heart, Faith. Her story spoke to my soul. All of the loss she had experienced in her short life reached to the depths of my heart and my whole desire was to help her see how loved and worthy she was of a Forever Family. Mark was not ready to start pursuing another adoption so close to bringing home the little girl that already was a stretch. Then, we received an update as she had been returned to her orphanage. It was horrible, gut-wrenching. My heart utterly broke as I scanned the photos and watched the stomach-turning videos over and over. This precious girl was absolutely declining, again.

Faith from the update in June 2017

Faith from an update in January 2019

 
I continued to pray and talk to him about this sweet girl. She would be a challenge, as her needs are a mystery. However, it is evident that there are major delays. I could not guarantee how much improvement, if any, we would see in her abilities. Finally, he said we could look at the file together (I had already poured over it) and send it to our pediatrician to get her opinion. The very next day, China came out with their new rules/regulations for adoption… July 6, 2017. This is the day I will never forget. My heart stopped. My world spun. I didn’t understand. I had fought for this girl. I had prayed for this girl.

I decided to continue to fight for her. I wrote many letters. I wrote pages of documentation of all we could offer; all we were willing to do and provide. I worked with multiple agencies. And, I prayed, oh how I prayed. (I can look back on this time and see how God used it to call me to Himself. I grew so much in my dependence of Him.) We would get a sign that maybe things would move and then a door would slam in our face.

During this time, Mark asked me to really think if I just wanted to adopt again or if it was this specific girl. We started to discuss other countries that would still be open to large families. I researched a ton. I requested files. I would send him pictures of sweet faces that piqued my interest. However, each time he would respond with a maybe, I would quickly back-pedal. I would feel guilty of thinking about another child besides the precious girl waiting in China.

Then, it happened. One day, I was perusing the waiting child lists of different agencies. I saw the face that made time stand still. I instantly knew she was it. She was the missing piece to our family. There was no hesitation. No guilt. I immediately showed him the information and requested whatever I could get about her.

I still yearn for sweet Faith to have a family. She will always have a piece of my heart. However, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that this newest princess is the one. She is the reason that nothing else seemed to work out. I can look back now and realize why God didn’t move all of those mountains that I prayed so hard to move. There is a reason for every difficulty, though sometimes we will never see the reason. I am blessed to know.

I first saw her face on March 17^th. I can’t wait to share more about her. (Wouldn’t it be great if we could get our official referral on or before that day? Just sayin. 😉)