Journey to Kristyn

I knew when we started this next adoption that I was going to move mountains to bring home another daughter as well.  However, I figured this was metaphorical and I would only have to convince Mark.  I was wrong; it has been a roller coaster ride and hard work, but SO WORTH IT!!  

After we got PA for our son, we began to turn our attention to getting our homestudy written.  I casually mentioned to our social worker that I intended to write it for 2 “just in case” the Lord led us to bring another child home as well.  I, of course, knew the Lord intended for me to bring another one home… doesn’t He always. (Please note the intended sarcasm here.  I was praying like crazy that God wanted this.)  Mark didn’t seem too reluctant to have the wording in there, understanding that it was an “if and only if” plan.  (Again, one should always be completely truthful with their spouse, but I knew if I could get the ball rolling…)  To my surprise, the program had changed a bit in the year and a half since we got Addi and Ryan.  Our agency no longer encouraged, and actually discouraged adopting two children simultaneously.  Our social worker had to get her supervisor to sign off on allowing us to write our homestudy for two kiddos, and even then this was not a guarantee that we would be approved for being matched with two children.

We were given approval to write our homestudy for two and some paperwork to sign and I took that as a victory.  I guess I didn’t think too much about the paperwork stating that this did NOT approve us for being matched with two.  I kept using phrases like “IF we decide…” and “IF the Lord brings…”.  Then, I set to work convincing Mark of how we needed another kiddo, no easy task mind you.  I love when he turns to our kids for support; they have my heart for adoption.  I’m not sure why he always assumes there will be a point where we will decide we have enough kids.  I think we missed that train about 3 stations ago! ;)  Mark decided it would be harmless just to request a few files.  We were stunned to get back a response that we were not approved to be matched for two and therefore couldn’t request files.  However, if we wanted to pursue that path, there was another mountain to traverse.

More paperwork (A LOT MORE) would need to be filled out and questions would need to be answered by each of us about the process of bonding with two new kiddos in China and at home.  We were so determined that they see our hearts that we even wrote a letter (A LONG ONE) detailing all of our experiences and our hearts for these kiddos and why we really felt God was drawing us to bringing home two.  Our social worker was very clear from the very beginning (and I appreciate the honesty, though it is hard to hear), very few families are approved for two, our agency does not offer this to anyone, and previous successes does not give you a “leg up” in the decision.  The China Team would receive our paperwork, pray, discuss, meet, and decide.  This process takes 1-2 weeks.  

I was a nervous wreck and at the close of the first week, when no decision was made yet, Mark started getting concerned too.  Then came the end of the second week, still no decision.  Now, we began to question what it meant… Was it a good thing, were they really taking their time with our letter and request?  Were they simply trying to figure out a way to let us down gently?  We became slightly paranoid, especially by the end of the third week.  The Team had unexpected trips, orphanage visits, etc come up, so the decision turned into a grueling FOUR weeks!!  

I wish I could have taped the phone call I finally received on Friday evening of the fourth week from my social worker.  She said a decision had been reached and we would discuss what it meant on Monday, but she couldn’t let me go the whole weekend without knowing that we were APPROVED FOR TWO!!!  I know I absolutely squealed!!  Mark had prayed yet again (you would think he would stop throwing out fleeces!!) that if we were approved for two, he would know God wanted us to go for two.  He told me this just after I hung up the phone.  My poor neighbors, I squealed again only louder!!

We discovered that our agency would need to approve any files that we were going to review before they would be sent to us.  So, we requested 3 files… and waited.  I watched the videos of the three girls, listed by our agency, over and over.  I was slowly falling in love with the youngest of the three.  My mama heart knew that we were at the end of our adoption journeys.  My “adoptological clock” was ticking and I wanted another young one.  We received the first file of a sweet little 6.5 year old girl.  It was an amazing file.  She was a precious little girl with good mobility, good all-around development, and had Mark’s birthday (not to mention she was ADORABLE)!  Mark was ready to sign on the dotted line!  I kept hearing the loud ticking of that “adoptological clock” in my ear!  I wanted to wait to see the other files.  One of the little ones already had a family interested and filling out paperwork for her.  But, there was still that little 3 year old…  Finally her paperwork came.  I knew that she would be the one.  Then I read her file with Mark and we realized that our family was not the right place for her.  Time to re-evaluate my clock and take stock of what I have… two precious little 3 year olds that do NOT need another young sibling.  Addisyn is so well bonded and had such a rocky start with her delays, that this will be tough enough for her.  Okay, we needed to revisit the first file.  She is adorable.  I began to watch her videos over and over and over.  I began to notice her beautiful smile and her cute little voice.  I began to realize that I could parent 4 seven year olds. :-/  

We decided to put her on hold, but first we needed to ask the kiddos if this was their sister.  Mark got a resounding yes and lots of thumbs up! :)  We called our social worker to put her on hold and began to fill out the Letter of Intent (LOI) to request China to assign her file to our family.  We submitted LOI on October 24^th.  Our social worker let us know that it had been taking as long as 4 weeks for a second PA to come.  PA is pre-approval letting us know that China has saved this child’s file for our family.  It also means that we get to share our wonderful news!  As we finished out the first week of waiting, we had our fingerprint appointment!  Oh how I hoped it would come on this day, but I knew that would not happen.  When we approached the end of this week, we realized that the CCCWA (Chinese adoption offices) would be closed until the end of next week.  Our PA would most likely be delayed.  The offices closed on November 7^th (which would be our 6^th), so when the morning of the 6^th came and went (with no call or email), I knew it would be another week or two. :(  I had a meeting after school, but Mark texted letting me know he had something to share and a different suggestion for dinner.  After the meeting, I called and found out that our social worker had called him in the afternoon and WE HAD PA!!!  They must have signed it and sent it out before they turned off the lights in the office at CCCWA!  We decided to change dinner plans, get Pizza Hut, and let the kiddos stay up late and celebrate!!  Then, of course, Mark and I had to stay up WAY LATER to put together a special announcement video cause this little girl is sooo worth it!!

 Here is the announcement video we put together.  To view click on:  ANNOUNCEMENT VIDEO

Here are two links to videos of our sweet princess!  The password to both videos is: maeve .  To view click on:  VIDEO 1         VIDEO 2