Addisyn's 2 Year Gotcha!

I can’t believe we met our littlest princess 2 years ago today!!  Her story was another that could only be written by God!

When we decided to go for our “baby girl” and there were a few parameters we agreed about.  Considering that this would be our fifth child, we knew we couldn’t take on too much as far as needs go.  We also wanted a little girl.  This would mean a longer wait and most kiddos are at least a year old at referral, usually closer to 18 months.  By the time you travel, this child could be almost two, so as young as possible was important to us.  We told our social worker all of this info but also said if there was a referral that she felt would suit us that didn’t fit these send it to us.  We knew that God pushed us out of our comfort zone with previous adoptions and for good reason each time.  

We were finally logged in (meaning China had received all of our documents) and we were ready to wait for our referral.  It only took about 2 months and we received the call.  A little girl’s file had been returned two days after a monthly release of new kiddos on to the list agencies pull from.  Our social worker let us know that this girl was older than we wanted (22 months) and had cerebral palsy.  We had said we wouldn’t consider this need, since Meilynn had it and we weren’t sure we could handle 2 kiddos with cp.  (Thank goodness God knew better!!)  We decided to look at her file anyways and told our social worker to send it to us.  

We poured over it trying to put the pieces together.  There is a checklist that lists all sorts of milestones and they check which ones the child can currently do.  NOTHING was checked, not any of the milestones.  At first, we thought maybe it was a mistake, but the section on personality and sleep patterns had two things were checked.  This was very concerning.  Most people would have passed this file on without any milestones being reached.  By looking through all of the pieces of information sent we began to piece together her brief history.  

This sweet child was abandoned at the hospital severely malnourished a few days after birth.  She spent the first two months of her life there to get healthy, with no parent or caregiver by her bedside or holding her.  She then went to her orphanage for about 4 months at which time they gave her the diagnosis of cerebral palsy along with a minor heart condition.  They sent her to the same orphanage Meilynn was at for rehabilitation.  Through two very brief updates from this orphanage, she appeared to be able to crawl quite late, around the time that her heart condition healed on its own.  This made sense to us, since Kaitlyn was delayed due to her heart condition, but took off developmentally after repair.  She had only returned to her home orphanage a month before the paperwork reached us, a couple of weeks before it was prepared.  They most likely hadn’t checked anything because they didn’t have much history with her.  However, it was still a huge risk.  We asked for video, but realized that it wouldn’t come before we needed to commit and send in a letter of interest.  

We prayed and decided to go for it.  The day after we wrote our letter requesting to adopt Addisyn, we received an adorable short video of her WALKING!  God is so good!!

When we finally made it to Guangzhou to meet our Guangdong sweetie, we were already being reminded of what raising a two year old is all about since we had Ryan for a full week.  We anxiously waited in the familiar Civil Affairs office where we had met Meilynn 1.5 years before.  She was already there, walking around.  The smallest thing I had ever seen.  She was so skinny.  She sat on our laps and we filled out paperwork.  When, we finally made it back to the hotel, we were shocked.  She sat where we put her and never moved.  She didn’t play with toys.  She didn’t walk or crawl.  She didn’t talk.  She only cried a soft cry and rocked.  This was such a drastic difference to her brother, who was 2 months older and VERY interactive.  This went on for 2 weeks.  A visit to her orphanage gave some insight as to her behavior.  There just wasn’t enough help.  There were two nannies trying to care for the 15 children aged 2 and under.  MOST of these babies had severe needs.  The children clearly didn’t make it out of their cribs very often, maybe an hour a day.   The sweet babies were rocking and I tried to make my way around the room to touch and love on each one of them.  Some of them would smile at me, and some seemed too far lost in a world absent of love.

I look at our beautiful princess today and I am amazed at God’s blessing.  She has made tremendous progress and is every bit a four year old! She is PERFECT!  She is absolutely my baby as she loves to cuddle and be held.  She is so humorous and often entertains all of us.  She is full of spice and knows what she wants.  She does a great job coloring and enjoys “reading” books to her baby (doll) or anybody that will listen to her.  I can’t imagine life without our sweet Addisyn and am so glad that God was in control of this journey and not me.  We love you Addisyn!  Happy 2 year Gotcha Day!!

Happy 2 Year Gotcha Ryan!!

This amazing, adorable, fun, loving little guy has been with us for two full years!! 

I decided to show Mark some videos of different kiddos while we waited for the referral of our little girl in order to get an idea of different needs.  We watched a little guy's video and Mark made a startling statement... "Why don't we adopt a little boy instead?"  This threw me completely off guard, I was all ready for my little girl.  After a whirlwind of a weekend and lots of prayer, we began our first journey for two.  We looked at dozens of files during the wait for a referral of a little girl.  We knew that girls were "harder to get" and so our social worker must have been so tired of us asking to see files of sweet, special focus boys.  They were all so sweet, but just not "the one".  A couple of months after getting logged in (LID), we received Addi's file.  We knew she was the one.  Now, our search for our son intensified.  We didn't want to keep her waiting while finding our son.  On a whim, I decided to ask our social worker if by some miracle she wasn't LID only and that perhaps we could look for a LID boy.  Since she had the need of cerebral palsy, she wasn't LID.  We could use this for our son.  Before I could even get the request out of my mouth, our social worker asked if she could send us "Ramsey's" (Lifeline's name) file from one of their partnerships.  This was the same little boy that had changed Mark's heart towards adopting a boy many months earlier.  We read the file that night and knew immediately, this was Ryan!!

We were lucky enough to get a few pictures while we waited to meet this sweet boy.

We met this precious child in the Civil Affairs office in Chongqing 2 years ago on July 9th, but our journey started way before that.

We have been so blessed by our precious son.  His need was developmental delay.  You would never guess that this was ever in his file.  He is the smartest little guy!  God orchestrated this journey in a way only He could as Ryan, our son with the label of developmental delay, helped his mei-mei (little sister) come out of her shell and blossom.  He is full of life, asks questions well beyond his age and understands the answers, loves to help out, and gives the best hugs ever!

Happy Gotcha Day Ryan!! We love you so very much!!

 

Getting to Know Greyson

We are continuing with the acclimation and I realize how quickly this summer is going to go!  I realize that my blogging is not happening as regularly as I had hoped.   The days just feel so full.  

We have shared with many of you that Greyson is our biggest struggle.  He has so many delays.  It is tough to parent an 8 year old child with a 5 year old body, mind, and development.  We are having great difficulty determining what is a cognitive delay and what comes from years of institutionalism.  

 

I have recently uncovered these adorable photos of our little guy.  My heart aches for the 6.5 years he spent in an orphanage.  A place, that based on information from other parents and observations of our sweet little boy, was not the best place for a child to grow up.  

We have done all of the adoption training, read all of the books, joined all of the support groups... But, when it comes down to it... adoption isn't easy.  Especially, when it's a little boy that I "knew" so well.  I have watched endless videos of him, read numerous reports, and poured over lots of paperwork.  I didn't have any questions... I was positive that I knew exactly who Greyson was...  Then, I was handed this adorable little fellow that seemed nothing like the boy I had fallen in love with.  I struggled with this a LOT and it kind of came to a climax last week.  I began to wonder if I was the right mama for him.  Was there a mistake?  

We knew this journey was designed by God.  He had made Himself evident in so much of it!  So, asking this question was asking if God makes mistakes.  Does He?  OF COURSE NOT!!  I had to realize that God put Greyson in our family at just the right time.  I know that God gives us what we need, when we need it.  He knew that I needed a glimmer of hope.  We have had an amazing two days.  We have had interactions and fun with Greyson that I didn't think would ever be possible a few weeks ago.  I have seen that little boy that I fell in love with almost two years ago and fell more in love with the real version living in my home and heart. 

Thanks for your prayers!  We feel all of them!

Continuing Acclimation 1.0

We are into our second month of life with these two newest cherubs.  However, we have just hit the one month home mark.  I have to remind myself of this... OFTEN!  It is a bit crazy around here at times.  Life is a bit "upside down" feeling when you find your four year olds explaining life and the "Anderson Way" to your seven and eight year olds. :)  

So far, we have had doctor appointments, settled into a summer routine (of sorts), and have begun to tackle figuring out more space for our expanded family.  Both kiddos have received pretty good results from their initial checkups.  However, with older children that can't explain or understand instructions, it is difficult to really get a good idea of their needs and how to provide the best help.  We will schedule physical therapy for both, Greyson could DEFINITELY use some strength and balance!  We have a prescription for AFOs for Kristyn.  I need to schedule an eye exam for Kristyn also.  She has very little, if any, sight out of her right eye.  We are thinking there may be limitations in the left eye.  We need to get this sweetie some visual help soon.

We are all settling into a sleep schedule and a pretty relaxed summer.  To keep things interesting, we are checking out different options for expanding our living space (buying, adding on, or building).  None of these may pan out, but we were getting bored with nothing to do. Ha ha! ;)

Our newest two continue to jabber on in Chinese during most of the day.  Kristyn is trying out more English than Greyson and both use a very few common phrases to ask for things.  They love to laugh and play.  They don't let the language barrier stand in the way of play and pretend with their brothers and sisters.  They love to be outdoors!

Their Certificates of Citizenship came in the mail today!!  So they are REALLY official and we can file for all of the rest of the necessary paperwork.

One Month with the Newest Andersons

Can you believe we have had Kristyn and Greyson for a month already?  Time really flies when you are having fun!  Wait, are we having fun?

This involves a complex answer.  There are so many adjustments, changes, and growing pains.  We are beginning to find our "new normal".  However, we have a lot to learn about parenting such a large family.  Grocery shopping, meal prep, laundry, showers, dishes, etc all take on a completely different feel.  Imagine you are getting ready for a kiddo's birthday party.  You shop for all of the food you are going to need and then set up the seating for all of those cherubs.  You spend all day making a meal and wishing you had just ordered pizza (when you do, it takes quite a few pizzas).  Finally, you wrangle them all to the table only to realize it is impossible to serve them all in any timely fashion.  You breathe a sigh of relief when the meal is done, because you made it.  Now there is a tower of dishes to tackle.  When you finally get through with them, you turn your attention to the small tornado that ran right through your living room, upstairs to the bedrooms, and finished up in the basement.  The crazy part is this happens at least three times a day at our house and then there is the laundry and showers and potty training and...  

 
I love ALMOST every minute of it!!  I really do!!  I am so thankful that God timed this whole journey so that I could have my entire summer to figure this out and enjoy these kiddos.  Mark and I are constantly catching each others' eyes and giving that "can you believe they are all ours" expression.  :)  It's kind of a "take your breath away" when we unload the van at a store.  It's so interesting to see who decides to play with whom, what games they make up to play together, and how different kiddos step up and really help out.

Now, we have our growing pains too.  We had it mostly "figured out" before the newest two joined us.  There are those instances when Kristyn or Greyson don't seem to understand the "Anderson way", or the appropriate way to respond or act in a given situation.  There are some "rough edges" that occur from spending 6 or more years in an institution where you never learned what being part of a family means.  Neither child really speaks English yet, they spend most of their day talking in Chinese.  We take them to new places and they have to figure out the appropriate way to act and generally don't understand anything that is going on.

However, there are those moments (and they become more and more frequent) that we live for.  The times that we get hugs and kisses.  The unsolicited "I lub you, Wo Ai Ni".  The huge smile and laughter that comes from realizing that they have a brother or sister that truly cares about them and wants to play with them.  Walking in on them holding the blanket up tight to their chin, snuggled in bed with a sibling watching a movie, and realizing that they can just lay there and relax, because this is permanent.  This is their FOREVER family!!

Yup, it's the hardest, most precious time of our lives!!