Price and Provisions

Adoption comes with a price. This is just a fact, it cannot be avoided. We know and understand that well. We work each time to come up with a financial plan of how to cover these expenses. I have also learned that involving others is an opportunity for them to join in the journey, through prayer and financial support. I believe in being transparent and open with our needs. Please join us in praying for provision.

There are a number of ways you can help:

• Pray for our process!
• We are currently waiting for our final US Approval.
• Next, our embassy will need to let Georgia know that they will issue a visa to our precious girl.
• Then, we will need to get final clearances from Georgia.
• Finally, they will set a court date in Georgia and invite us to travel.
  

 

Grants - Awarded

Brittany's Hope (through our agency) - $2500 Matching Grant!!!

Lifesong / Chosen and Dearly Loved - $4500 Matching Grant!!!

Gift of Adoption - $5000 GRANT!!!

 

Grants - Not Awarded:

Show Hope - we were not awarded a grant

Stone Family Adoption Assistance Fund -  submitted 9/6, haven't received any response to my inquiries

 

THANK YOU for your prayers!! Generosity of friends and families, savings, and the stimulus payments have gotten us VERY close to our goal!! We are NOW FULLY FUNDED!

Would you still like to help us out? Adoption Fund

 

Timeline for Ten

I am still learning the steps to the process with this new country. However, I  love to see how close I get with timeline estimates. The pandemic we are in adds another level of uncertainty, but let's try anyways. ;) I will update this post as stages are reached.

 

Saw her precious face - March 17, 2020

(Many twists and turns, I will save this for another post at a later date.)

Accepted by our Agency - May 11, 2020

Approved Homestudy - August 24, 2020

i800a Sent - September 4, 2020

i800a Lockbox - September 8, 2020

Biometrics - SKIPPED!

i800a Approval (Initial US approval for us to adopt internationally) - October 28th, 2020

Authentication/Apostille - December 2, 2020

Dossier Sent to Country - December 8, 2020

Dossier Submitted - February 12, 2021

Dossier Registered - March 5, 2021

Official Referral - July 28, 2021

Referral Acceptance - July 29, 2021

i800 Received at Lockbox - August 10, 2021

i800 Approval - October 12, 2021

NVC numbers - November 1, 2021

DS260 completed - November 1, 2021

 

EXTRA STEPS 2021-2022                                                   SIMULTANEOUS STEPS 2022

(for 18 year old):                                                                   (in country):

Michigan Clearances sent in - December 3          Article 5 issued - January 14

Michigan Clearances back - December 16

Homestudy Updated - December 20                     INTERPOL checks - January 26

I800a Supplements sent in - December 27

i800a Supplements RESUBMITTED - Jan 10       Ministry Approval - February 7

Biometrics for 18 yr old - February 22

Approval - February 23                                          Case to court - February 17

Received - February 25                                          Court Date Set - March 4

TRAVEL:

Arrived in-country - March 20

Met our daughter - March 21

Court - March 25

Medical - March 28

Embassy gave date of April 12 for visa - March 28

Birth Certificate (original and amended) - March 29

Passport - March 29

Medicals at Embassy - March 31

SOOOOO many emails to the Embassy - no changes

Visa Appointment #1 - April 12 (DS260 not closed correctly)

Visa Appointment #2 - April 14

Visa in Hand - April 18 (10am - ALWAYS in the afternoon, every reason to believe it was ready on Friday)

Flights home - April 19

Adoption is NEEDED!

I see this quoted so often in adoptions. Did you know that the context of this verse is financial?? It’s not always used for the financial aspect, but it probably should be. That is the reason most often given for not pursuing adoption. The financial obligation seems to hold people back. I get it. I think most of us struggle with spending $30,000 to $40,000.  But wait… we overcome the hurdle if we feel there is reason to, if it’s something we need. We need housing. We need transportation. We often end up taking a loan for these needs.

Well, you may not know it, but I think you NEED adoption. Yup, you need it! It will teach you so much about the love God has for you. I see it so often in my kids.

•  When they do something wrong and you just want them to ask for forgiveness.
• When they are facing a natural consequence and it hurts your heart.
• When they give you an eye roll and tell you that you don’t know anything.
• When they lie and you try everything to get them to admit the truth.
• When they get hurt and you try to make it better.

I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter if my children are biological or adopted, the feelings are the same. My heart is theirs, it hurts when they hurt and soars when they are happy. Then, I realize that this is the way God feels about me, His adopted child. How much greater is our Heavenly Father’s love for us? I’ve learned so much about His immense love for me. It plays out before my eyes everyday.

Also, they NEED adoption. Yup, they do! I’ve heard some say this is a “savior mentality”. Well, GOOD! I hope so! Mentality is defined as the characteristic attitude of mind or way of thinking. I certainly hope that my way of thinking aligns with my Savior! He asks us to care for the least of these. He asks us to be His hands and feet.  He loves these children and wants to see them in families. And, these children do need saving! If you don’t believe this, you haven’t seen them, you haven’t been in an orphanage, you haven’t seen them pulled from a foster home where they were thriving, you haven’t heard the stories of what they’ve endured, you haven’t held them while they told you about the past. If you don’t believe this, you don’t understand that their current situation (as good as it might be) is not forever. Without adoption, their future is one full of challenges and no support system.

YES, you can do ALL things through Christ. He does give you strength. Strength to get through the paperwork. Strength to find the funds necessary to bring them home. Strength to meet their needs. Strength to love them when they are hard to love (because there will be times, we are too sometimes).

You CAN! You NEED to! ADOPT!!

The Muddy Waters of "Choosing a Child"

I am beginning to realize just how messy this “called life” can be. It isn’t as clear and black and white as so many choose to portray it to be. I have been guilty of this very thing. As I have talked with, grieved with, and advocated it has become clear that this life requires a greater understanding of God and His great love. 

We tend to approach everything in life thinking that there is one right, Godly answer. While I believe this can be the case, I am not sure that it is always this cut and dry. What if there are multiple good options? God gave us free will. There are definitely wrong choices: refusing His gift of the cross, choosing sin, leading someone away from a Christ-centered life. 

I’ve begun to wonder if this doesn’t apply to adoption. I feel that many of us (ME included!!) have muddied the waters by claiming God lead us to the “perfect child for our family”. This seems to indicate that the child we adopted is the ONLY one that we could have brought home. And honestly, sometimes, this does seem to be the case. We have experienced some beautiful adoptions. The transitions were seamless, the kids easily fit into our family and schedules, and they grafted into our family’s culture with ease. However… sometimes this isn’t the case…

What about the kids that struggle? What about the kids that cause us to struggle? We’ve had attachment behaviors years after coming home. We’ve had to fight for children with learning disabilities. We’ve had to come to grips with children that may never be able to live on their own. This isn’t the way we envisioned our lives. We didn’t think this was what God was asking of us. Does this mean that we made a “wrong choice” or “didn’t follow His will”? I will tell you that you learn to pray and commune with God during an adoption like no other time in your life. These journeys change you. So, I can also tell you that we both believe with all of our hearts that EVERY ONE of our children are MEANT to be in our home.

What about the kids that we don’t choose? Do you know what the toughest part of adoption is? NOT choosing children. When we choose to bring a child into our family, we are choosing to leave hundreds of thousands in orphanages. Most likely they will age out and never experience the love of a family. Does that mean that they are not worthy? Does that mean that they wouldn’t have “fit” into our family? I will tell you that I know MANY adoptive parents that continue to follow the children they don’t choose. They pray for them. They advocate for them. They cheer when they find families and shed tears when the opportunity never comes. These children still occupy our hearts. I am also confident that each one of them is JUST as worthy as any of the children that have become my own. I am positive that they would fit in as well as any child we have brought home.

So where does this leave us?

Maybe, just maybe, there are multiple options. Maybe, God has placed an empty spot in your family for two reasons: to give a child a home and teach YOU about Himself. He wants YOU to be His hands and feet. He wants YOU to experience the miracle of caring for one of His children who needs you. He wants YOU to experience His love. He wants YOU to grow in the knowledge of Him. He wants YOU to have a new understanding of what it means to be adopted by Him.

Maybe, just maybe, there is only one wrong choice and many good, Godly choices. Maybe, God’s only requirement is for you to follow His command. Maybe, God just wants you to adopt! Stop stressing over making the perfect choice: domestic or international, country, boy or girl, special need, young or old… Maybe, your biggest concern should be NOT choosing to adopt. I am confident He will meet you in the CENTER of ANY adoption. I am confident He will teach you so much about Himself and His love through ANY adoption. I am confident that He will show you so much about love through ANY adoption. 

Don’t fear choosing the wrong child. FEAR CHOOSING NO CHILD!

An Open Response

I realized that there are misunderstandings and responses that are often stated and I feel that I should have a response instead of trying to restate my feelings and research over and over.

I know a lot of people that have or are adopting, so they've got it covered.
I'm glad you do! That means you have some experts, or at least experienced help, if you decide to help out where you are so desperately needed! Please know, there are MILLIONS of children waiting, needing families. I can look many places and see conflicting facts and information. So, I will speak of what I know. There are hundreds of orphanages all over China. That's just one country. Each of these orphanages may have a handful of children, a mere 50, hundreds, or in the case of some of my children thousands of children housed within the cement block walls. Hundreds of thousands of children wait in our own foster care system. Each year approximately 20,000 children age out of the foster care system in the US without a permanent family. No matter what statistics you use or research, the need is great and the number of families choosing to adopt is decreasing rapidly.

They may not get adopted, but children are cared for. I mean there aren't kids living on the street.
Children that age out of the US system without a permanent family are at an increased risk of poor educational outcomes, experiencing homelessness, and being unemployed. Children in other countries may be sent to adult institutions to live out their lives. There abuse and neglect are common. If they are lucky enough to escape the institution, they have no support. They are more susceptible to trafficking and suicide.

It costs a lot of money.
Okay, you got me. Well, kind of. Adopting out of the US foster system is pretty close to free. International adoption tends to range from $20,000-$50,000. That seems extremely expensive. Here's the part that absolutely does me in. If I told you a car cost that much money, you would think that was reasonable. I mean if I pay the bigger price tag, I might be able to get 10 years out of it. You would expect to finance it over the course of 4-6 years. Agencies have to pay their workers, here and abroad. Medicals take money. Shipping documents to make sure everything is legal takes money. THIS IS A HUMAN BEING. We should be shrugging our shoulders and realizing that is a drop in the bucket to pay for human life. (Ask me, we've gotten some amazing loans and tax credits!)

Increased regulations cut down on disruptions and dissolved adoptions of big families and "serial adopters".
While anyone can find cases to support their claims, I need you to really think about the numbers. I live the numbers. I watch the large, experienced families who are more than ready to leap back into the unknown, because it isn't so unknown to them anymore. I stand in unison with the families who have experienced a need that wasn't as bad as they thought it would be, who realized they can handle more than they thought, who met a child that they know would be a perfect fit. In all of our concern for the few, in trying to save precious lives, we are trading thousands of others. Children are dying and aging out everyday. They wait, because so many hands are tied. We have traded out caring for the majority for protecting the few.

Adoptions are decreasing, because domestic adoption is increasing.
Nothing makes me happier than to know that many countries are experiencing a rise in domestic adoption. I am so thankful to know that China (a country near and dear to my heart) has a had a huge increase. However, using their published statistics, domestic adoptions are not coming close to meeting the need. Every year approximately 100,000 children are abandoned. However, only 20,000 domestic adoptions take place. That's only meeting 20% of the need.

I am not ready to bring a baby home with all of the care they require.
MOST of the waiting children are older. The greatest need is for children over age 5. The largest group waiting are boys. Boys of all ages wait to be chosen. However, ALL children need families to be a part of.

International adoption should decrease, children need to be left in their culture.
They aren't IN their culture! They are being raised in institutions. Their experience is not having enough food to eat, being tied to chairs and cribs, freezing in the winter when heat can't be afforded. This is not a culture any child deserves to be a part of. When they finally are released into their culture, most aren't prepared and have no support.

It's going to take ALL of us YOU and ME! We need to do better! We need to help the crisis. We need to be God's hands and feet. He has chosen US to care for His children!

Orphan Sunday 2018

 Click HERE to watch our Orphan Sunday Video.

For Orphan Sunday, I started to write down all of the statistics I could. I tend to be a numbers gal. It quickly became overwhelming, as it always does. I work the numbers often in my life as an advocate. They always bring an ache to my heart and utter frustration. 

·      153 million is a number that is too difficult to put into terms that our mind can grasp.

·        Every 18 seconds a child becomes an orphan.

o   In the time it will take you to watch the video, 10 children became orphans.

o   Every day over 5,700 children become orphans.

·        Current adoption rates just aren’t enough.

o   Domestic adoptions are just over 60,000 for the year and international is now under 5,000.

o   Together our entire year’s worth of adoptions in the US only accounts for 11.5 days of orphaned children.

o   Every day in China alone, 100 children age out of the ability to have a family. They are sent out at 14, on their own to figure out how to survive without a support system or training. Or worse, sent to the adult institution where they will live out their days behind cement blocks, lonely or abused. 

I spent a week this summer helping out at a foster home in China. They took great care of the sweet 60 kiddos entrusted to them. However, they kept repeating to me that this wasn’t the answer. Ayis go home to their own families. This isn’t permanent. A huge impact on my heart came from a precious girl that has cerebral palsy leaving her unable to walk or form words easily. But her sweet spirit and kind smile brightened everyday that I was able to sit by her and brush her hair or rub her back. One particular day, she was having a hard time. The reality of it all sunk in as tears rolled down her cheeks. All I could do was hug her and tell her how much I loved her and God loved her. But, my heart was breaking. She had aged out in March. Her chance at ever having a family was gone forever. I couldn’t figure out why God would allow this to happen. I told her everything would be alright, but doubted afterwards if I should make such a promise.

ADOPT

If you truly know you can’t adopt, consider fostering.

If you are positive you can’t foster, sponsor (a family, host a child, support a child’s education)

If you feel you can’t sponsor, donate (meals, time, talents)

If you still aren’t sure where you can help, EVERYONE can PRAY!

Three weeks after returning home, I found out those 60 precious children that I met at the foster home this summer were recalled to their orphanages for a sweeping census ordered by the Chinese government. My heart and head couldn’t comprehend where God was in all of this. After a lot of praying, I penned these words for that precious girl who had lost her chance and all of those like her.

The Story of an Aged Out Orphan (by April's heart)
How did this happen? I don’t understand.
Why didn’t God have some kind of plan?
I prayed for her daily and knew they would come.
But they never showed up, now her chances are done.
She will live out her days in this institutional prison.
This became her home from one monumental decision.
I questioned God and asked how could this be.
How could You allow this disaster I see?
He answered my questions with kindness, but grief,
I couldn’t breathe as I groaned in disbelief.
The story wasn’t supposed to end in this way,
I was supposed to act instead of just pray.
What I saw as destruction and planned tragedy,
He meant for redemption and opportunity.
I was supposed to be His hands and feet,
My hesitant heart led to her forever defeat.