“April, you just have to trust God’s timing.” I’ve been struggling with this phrase for a
long time, maybe through all of my adoptions.
Where does that leave those of us praying for the next step in our
adoption process to speed up? Are we not
trusting God? Let me back up and give
you my perspective. I hope this helps
those of you in the same boat know that you are not alone and those who’ve not
adopted understand our hearts and the process a little more.
I have been blessed to experience pregnancy and
adoption. There are so many similarities
and an exponential amount of differences.
I am one of those moms who loved pregnancy! This included some scary situations with
hormone levels and morning sickness for 2 trimesters. The feeling of those little ones and knowing
they were there with you, growing and developing was nothing short of a
miracle. From the first positive sign on
the pregnancy test, I was in love! That
love grew as I did. Amazingly, adoption
is very similar. That first picture,
file, video, and commitment (Letter of Interest) is all I needed to be
completely and utterly in love! For me
it was instant in both cases. However, this
is where the differences start to vastly outnumber the similarities.
While pregnant with my boys, I used to dream about what they
might look like or how they might act. I
never truly knew until I gave birth and even then it took months for their
little personalities to truly develop.
Birth truly is the first time you “meet” them. Adoption is drastically different. You have pictures, files, updates, videos,
personality traits, likes and dislikes, etc.
Now, every adoption has brought with it different amounts of information
from tons to VERY LITTLE, but each had something. Your heart begins to fall in love with a
human being you know something about. It
falls hard and fast!
While pregnant, I worked to take the best care of my
boys. I took pre-natal vitamins, went to
doctor appointments, ate nutritious foods, cut caffeine out of my diet, and
tried to keep myself healthy. While
adopting I have no control, my children live half way around the world, being
cared for by someone I don’t know and have no communication with.
Pregnancy lasts for 9 months, usually. Adoption is filled with numerous steps, a couple
of which have specified timelines but most can vary by months. There is no guarantee about the length of an
adoption process. I trust God with all
of my heart. He has proven Himself over
and over again, when He didn’t need to!
I know that He has set us on this path once again. I know that He has ultimate control over our
timeline and that He knows best. I also
know that He has put this all-consuming love for our children in my heart. I know that He understands my desire to bring
them home as soon as possible. I know that
He wants us to be able to love on them, play with them, provide for them, and
teach them about His love. So, do I
question my desire to speed up the process?
Nope! Not anymore! My prayer is for us to get our children as
quickly as we can! If it doesn’t happen
when I think it should, am I disappointed?
Of course! I want to squeeze my
babies! BUT, does it mean I don’t trust
God? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I couldn’t do this without His leading.
Praying for the next step in the quickest time
possible! AND praying for His timing and
His hand in our adoptions!!
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