Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Thoughts and Ramblings on Adoption

I was sitting on the couch with Mark (after the kiddos went to bed) watching "The Proposal".  It was so nice to just sit and relax and have some couple time.  I realized that my choice movies are "The Proposal" and "While You Were Sleeping".  Mark wondered if I ever noticed that they have a common theme, a woman who grows up without family and finally finds the tangible memory of family in the one she becomes a part of.  By this time, I am always a weepy mess.  It dawned on me, yes, this is my passion.  That feeling you get when others realize what family is and what it feels like to be part of one and never want to let go.


We have been blessed to watch all eight of our kiddos become a part of the family, however, this is such an indescribable gift when it comes to our older kiddos' adoptions.  I cannot accurately explain the pure joy of observing them beginning to truly feel a part of our family and begin to understand what the love of family is and what it means.  Every once and awhile you can catch them stepping back and taking it all in, as if to absorb the utter warmth of family.  Then, the transition begins, it is no longer a marvel and becomes a part of them.  They don't have to contemplate, because they are a part of it.  I watch my Littles explain what family is.  They can tell the newest additions the story of our family.  They tell tale of mothers in China that couldn't care for them, so now they have a Forever mama and daddy.  This mama and daddy will be with them FOREVER.  They are part of our family now.  They are ANDERSONS.  Thank you God for this amazing gift of family!  I stand in awe of how You work at piecing it together!

 

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Four years ago today...



Four years ago, a nervous couple boarded a plane for Guangzhou.  They were going to meet their new daughter in a mere few hours.  They had thought, dreamed, and prayed about her for months.  What would the meeting be like?  To calm their nerves, they focused on what they needed to do when they landed.
 



Miles away, a sweet girl woke up and began a day of unknowns.  She prepared to meet her new family and her 4th mother.  She recalled the stories and memories.  She had been told of the couple that found a baby peering up at them from a trash can.  She remembered how the mother gave her a new haircut and dressed her in a pretty, new dress.  The grandmother had taken her hand and told her they were setting out on an adventure.  During the trip, the grandmother set her on a bench and told her she needed to go to the bathroom.  This five year old sweetheart sat for quite a while waiting, until she began to cry realizing that she would never see this mother again.  A very sweet foster mother helped to heal her heart.  She loved her times of cooking with this new mother.  She allowed herself to love this woman and was heart-broken once again when the time came for her to retire from fostering.  She adapted to a new life once again, as she joined a “simulated family” in the orphanage.  She wondered what this next mother would be like.


The couple finally landed, they were quite a bit behind schedule.  As they departed from the plane, they were happy to see their guide and learn that they should have about 30 minutes to settle in and prepare to meet their new daughter.  However, when they reached the hotel, panic once again set in.  Their hotel room would not be ready until it was time to leave.  They were ushered into the business center.  There they scoured through suitcases of dirty laundry in front of gawking business people, as they prepared gifts for nannies and directors and attempted to put together a little bag for their new daughter.


On the other side of the city, the sweet girl was dressed in multiple layers of clothing.  She was told that she would probably be riding on a plane that day and it might be cold.  This little girl was only 8 years old and her nerves were starting to get the best of her.  She would have a long car ride, she had only been in a car a few times during her life.  She started to feel a little sick to her stomach, but tried to be brave.

The couple was told that their room was finally ready.  They had just enough time to set their suitcases in their room and make sure they had their camera and gifts.  As they rode to Civil Affairs, they were told that their daughter would be asked tomorrow if she would be willing to live with them.  This added a whole new level of nervous anticipation.  They thought only children 10 and older were asked this question.  They finally arrived at the building and found a spot on the big black couches.  They watched and waited with racing heart beats.

The little girl breathed heavily as the car pulled up to the big building.  Her director, which she didn’t know real well, took her hand and led her out of the car and into the building.  They rode up the escalator and she felt her stomach doing flip-flops.  They approached the glass doors and she saw big black couches and strange looking faces.  They didn’t look like the people she was used to seeing, but more like the unfamiliar faces she had seen in the book sent by her new family.

The couple anxiously looked at the door.  Their hearts burst as they watched the beautiful, black-haired girl with almond-shaped eyes approach.  They tried to get their camera out quickly, but their fingers felt heavy and they couldn’t work fast enough.  They watched this sweet girl trip over the threshold and fall, grimacing at what must have been a hard hit.  She glanced shyly at them, but seemed to recognize them, as she was ushered to a little room behind a curtain where all of the children waited.  Their hearts broke into a million pieces and they had to fight every urge they felt to run to her and gather her into their arms.  

The little girl was so upset, of course her legs wouldn’t work today; she couldn’t keep them from shaking.  She saw the faces that matched those in her book.  Those were her new parents.  Did they see her fall?  She was taken to a little room and seated on a chair, next to a curtain for a doorway.  There were lots of smaller children busily playing in this room, they must not have had any idea what would be happening.  She couldn’t help but turn and peek through the space left between the curtain, which hadn’t been fully shut, and the door frame.  She wondered about these strange people.  Would they be nice?  How long would this last?  Would they like her even though she was older and had a little difficulty walking?

The couple watched the curtain with a fixed gaze.  Every once and awhile they caught a pair of precious eyes peeking through the gap.  Would she like them?  Would they be able to communicate?  Had she gotten the book, letters, and gifts they had sent?  Would she want to stay with them?  Would she understand how much they loved her already??

The time came, the little girl was guided out from the curtain room and the couple was told to come up to the “Meeting Place”.  They took the little girl’s hand with tears in their eyes and their hearts were once again changed forever…  

WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH MEILYNN!!! HAPPY 4th GOTCHA DAY!!!

Friday, December 25, 2015

Christmas 2015

What a perfect day!  It was simple, fun, relaxing, and filled with family-time.  Greyson and Kristyn LOVED every minute of Christmas.  This is the one of the first times that they have experienced receiving gifts meant just for them.  The awe and anticipation for every single gift gave all of us a new appreciation for what we have.  Each kiddo picked one gift to have their picture taken with.
Jayson with MIP

Ryan with Paw Patrol

Greyson with a pillow pet giraffe

Brayden with wireless headset for gaming

Kristyn with her tiger

Meilynn with colored pencils






















Kaitlyn with bags for her lip smackers and fingernail polish

Addisyn with her Doc McStuffins ambulance


























We spent the evening taking a trip down memory lane.  Kristyn had LOTS of questions.  Sweet girl is still processing this thing called family and what it all means.  To us it is a wonderful blessing, to be a part of a family.  I have no doubt that she is starting to understand and feel the same way.  However, adoption has also meant great loss for her.  She has lost a life that was all she knew, friends, teachers, belonging, and an understanding of her world.  We have changed all of that.  She misses her teacher and friends TERRIBLY!  She wants so badly to go back and see them again.  Coming to grips with adoption also means a new understanding of her past.  She is beginning to wrap her head around what a family is and that she didn't have one before.  That is a scary place to let your mind wander and brings up a lot of questions that I don't have the answers for.  I can let her that mama and daddy love her very much and are so very, very happy that she will be with us forever!  I can tell her what I do know and for now, that seems to be enough.   We have a lot of growing and learning to do yet.  Adoption is hard!!  However, it is also filled with joy, love, and new understandings of God's love everyday!  I am so thankful that God has allowed us to journey this path so many times!

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Seven Months Already!

In some ways it feels like forever, in others I can't believe it has already been 7 months!  So much has happened and so much growth has occurred in those precious months.

Greyson is figuring out what it means to be part of a family.  He is discovering what love and cuddles feel like and how much he loves them.  School has been a tough adjustment.  Institutional settings remind him of a "not-so-happy" past, but he is starting to discover that it will be okay and that he enjoys learning.  He is a smart little guy, but there is so much to learn when you start from nothing.  He was never exposed to books or writing utensils or any kind of learning for that matter.  He didn't understand what school meant or how to be a student.  We decided to start him in kindergarten, as this was more developmentally appropriate for him.  This was a great decision and I am so thankful that he is such a little thing.  They say that you lose 4-6 months for every year you spend in an institution.  This would be a 3-3.5 year regression for Greyson.  That puts him right at the kindergarten level.  At the beginning, I would accept his hugs and then continue about 15-30 seconds after he was "done".  Now, he can't wait to cuddle and sit on my lap.  He has learned how wonderful love is!

Kristyn is settling in and showing some of her strong personality traits.  When she wants something, she wants it and she wants it NOW!  This was the way she survived for 6 years.  We are gently teaching her the difference between needing to survive and being a caring member of a family.  She is ALWAYS ready to give hugs and show affection.   She had an easier time transitioning to school, but is quite vocal when she doesn't want to do something.  We are still working on letting her know that she is not in charge all of the time.  You can tell that she had great care, but very little affection and love.  Her smile swallows her face when she is cuddling with you or giving you a good night hug. 

Thank you so much for praying for our family and this time of transition!  Your prayers are felt!  We are extremely blessed that God chose us for these amazing little cherubs!