Orphan Sunday 2018

 Click HERE to watch our Orphan Sunday Video.

For Orphan Sunday, I started to write down all of the statistics I could. I tend to be a numbers gal. It quickly became overwhelming, as it always does. I work the numbers often in my life as an advocate. They always bring an ache to my heart and utter frustration. 

·      153 million is a number that is too difficult to put into terms that our mind can grasp.

·        Every 18 seconds a child becomes an orphan.

o   In the time it will take you to watch the video, 10 children became orphans.

o   Every day over 5,700 children become orphans.

·        Current adoption rates just aren’t enough.

o   Domestic adoptions are just over 60,000 for the year and international is now under 5,000.

o   Together our entire year’s worth of adoptions in the US only accounts for 11.5 days of orphaned children.

o   Every day in China alone, 100 children age out of the ability to have a family. They are sent out at 14, on their own to figure out how to survive without a support system or training. Or worse, sent to the adult institution where they will live out their days behind cement blocks, lonely or abused. 

I spent a week this summer helping out at a foster home in China. They took great care of the sweet 60 kiddos entrusted to them. However, they kept repeating to me that this wasn’t the answer. Ayis go home to their own families. This isn’t permanent. A huge impact on my heart came from a precious girl that has cerebral palsy leaving her unable to walk or form words easily. But her sweet spirit and kind smile brightened everyday that I was able to sit by her and brush her hair or rub her back. One particular day, she was having a hard time. The reality of it all sunk in as tears rolled down her cheeks. All I could do was hug her and tell her how much I loved her and God loved her. But, my heart was breaking. She had aged out in March. Her chance at ever having a family was gone forever. I couldn’t figure out why God would allow this to happen. I told her everything would be alright, but doubted afterwards if I should make such a promise.

ADOPT

If you truly know you can’t adopt, consider fostering.

If you are positive you can’t foster, sponsor (a family, host a child, support a child’s education)

If you feel you can’t sponsor, donate (meals, time, talents)

If you still aren’t sure where you can help, EVERYONE can PRAY!

Three weeks after returning home, I found out those 60 precious children that I met at the foster home this summer were recalled to their orphanages for a sweeping census ordered by the Chinese government. My heart and head couldn’t comprehend where God was in all of this. After a lot of praying, I penned these words for that precious girl who had lost her chance and all of those like her.

The Story of an Aged Out Orphan (by April's heart)
How did this happen? I don’t understand.
Why didn’t God have some kind of plan?
I prayed for her daily and knew they would come.
But they never showed up, now her chances are done.
She will live out her days in this institutional prison.
This became her home from one monumental decision.
I questioned God and asked how could this be.
How could You allow this disaster I see?
He answered my questions with kindness, but grief,
I couldn’t breathe as I groaned in disbelief.
The story wasn’t supposed to end in this way,
I was supposed to act instead of just pray.
What I saw as destruction and planned tragedy,
He meant for redemption and opportunity.
I was supposed to be His hands and feet,
My hesitant heart led to her forever defeat.

Living Life in Tandem

In the past, I used the symbolism of driving a car when describing my relationship with God. I fully realized that God should be in the driver's seat, but often tried to leave the passenger seat and take control again. This seemed to be a perfect example of our relationship with God...

However, this all changed on the way to church this morning. We came to a four way stop at the same time as an older couple on a tandem bike. I watched as they slowed to a stop and simultaneously got off the bike. They smiled at each other, smiled at us and waved us on. I found myself wishing we had waited and watched them begin their biking again. Then it hit me. This was the perfect symbolism of our relationship with God.

I thought of the woman on the back of that bike. I did a little research and she is called the stoker. This is where the metaphor really took off. You see, her job is not simply to sit back there and let the pilot (person in the front of the bike) do all of the work. There is more weight with two people and this requires more power. The experience will not be successful if the stoker sits and doesn't join in. God doesn't expect us to sit back and do nothing. Don't get me wrong, we are to let Him lead. The stoker doesn't determine the direction or change speeds, but there won't be any success if they don't pedal. We aren't supposed to sit back and wait for God to do it all. Too often I think we are waiting for God to move when He is trying to move us. God chooses to use us. He chooses to allow us to join in His work, to be His hands and feet. 

Then, I thought back to the experience I had riding a tandem bike in college. I was the stoker with some of my good friends on a bike one of them had bought from old Mackinac Island rentals. I thought it should be pretty easy. I mean, all I needed to do was get on and pedal, right?? WRONG! It went horribly wrong. The stoker and the pilot have to ride in tandem. You have to be able to synchronize your movements for balance, your pedaling, your shifting, and communicate turns and stops. My mind went back to that older couple. I don't know them, but judging from how well they did and the success they had, I bet they've been together for a long time. They were so in tune with each other that balance and synchronization came naturally. They could almost sense what would happen next. This is the way it should be with God. We should be spending so much time with Him and getting to know Him so well that synchronization comes naturally. We should be able to anticipate when He wants us to change our pace, shift our speed, change direction, or lean into a turn.

Do we need to get on the back of the bike and be the stoker so that God can be the pilot? Do we need to spend more time with God so that we are in perfect synchronization with Him? Do we need to start pedaling and stop thinking we are only along for the ride?

It's a great day for a bike ride! Let's see where God takes us!

Keep On Fighting

I’ve been asked numerous times after coming home: Are you okay? Are you sick? Are you tired? Are you angry? Are you upset?

I soon realized that my inward condition was showing outwardly. The new fresh wounds were still healing, still scabbing over. Each time I entered into the world of the orphan, new deep cuts formed in my soul. Over time, scabs formed. It was easier to ignore the scars than when the wounds were fresh. But now, I feel them all over again. They are still fresh and reopen when news of threats and the reality of endured tragedy surface. 

I’ve held, kissed, and loved these precious children of God. I’ve looked at them through His eyes. I’ve wept tears over the ones that will never come home this side of Heaven. I’ve rocked a sweet girl that cried silently without being able to tell me the reason and depth of her sorrow. I’ve told these children how much I love them and how much God loves them. I’ve realized that some of them have and will face hurt deeper than we can imagine. 

Am I okay? No. Am I sick? Yes. Am I tired? Yes. Am I angry? Yes. Am I upset? Yes. But, I wouldn’t want to change it. Entering their world re-energized me, renewed my passion and broke my heart once again for what breaks His. I pray that I wear my scars proudly this time. I pray that I take a good look in the mirror and see those scars. I pray that I remember daily. I pray that this renews my fight each day!

I will not give up. I cannot give up. They are worth it! They are worth the fight!

"Keep Fighting the Good Fight!" by Unspoken

My Challenge to you!

I want to start with a story. I want to begin by leading you down the path that ruined and wrecked me.
It all started when I fell in love with this beautiful, little girl. I watched her transformed by love. She had been waiting for a long time. Pictures of her appeared often on different agency lists.

 

Over a relatively short time, a change could be seen. She began to look more somber, listless, and withdrawn. Reports of her giving up and failing to thrive began to surface. We tried even harder to find her a family, but they never came.

There was hope, however, the amazing Grace Village chose to bring her to their home. We watched as the transformation took place. We watched as she started to smile, learn, move, and come alive. Love transformed the once lost soul to a sweet girl full of promise. We continued to work on finding her a home. Then, the unthinkable happened. 

The children of Grace Village were recalled. Forced to return to their orphanages with no warning or time for preparation. This little girl was devastated. She was back where it all began, and she didn't understand why this had happened, why her world had been turned upside down. We watched in horror as the updates slowly came in.

I cried for weeks over this girl. My heart was broken in two. Truth be told, I often find myself still weeping when I allow my mind to wander to her. She has taken up residence in my heart and is a huge reason that I advocate. She is the reason that this all seems so much worse. I KNOW what it looks like to be wasting away while waiting.

More and more I hear of foster homes being forced to close or children being recalled back to their orphanages. It seems that no one is exempt. I've seen what this does to the children. I know how their hearts must be breaking. I also think about the kiddos that never get out. The children that spend everyday of their lives in the orphanage and then age out.

So, I'm challenging you. I don't want you to simply consider adoption, I want you to choose adoption. James 1:27 tells us, "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." Don't fall into the trap of thinking this doesn't apply to you. If there is one lesson I have learned in all of this, it's that the only way to truly keep them safe is adoption. Foster homes aren't forever. Perfect orphanages do not exist, even the "good" ones are not family or forever. The only thing I can think of that would keep you from qualifying is age. So, if you are over 64, please choose a child and pray for them, support a family that chooses adoption, give to a foster home that is working to love children. The rest of you, ADOPT! Let's talk! I will help you find the country, money, agency, anything I can do. Did you know that adopting from foster care is very low cost? Did you know that each country has a different set of qualifications and if you don't qualify for one, it doesn't mean you won't qualify for another? Did you know that regular people (like a teacher and preacher, trust me we aren't rich) have adopted many times over? These children don't have time for you to figure it all out. ADOPT! I challenge you! All of you!!

WE are His Plan

Maybe you’ve noticed, and maybe you haven’t… that before this past week, it has been awhile since I shared one of these pleading advocacy posts. The truth is that I feel like a hypocrite. Trust me, I am speaking to my own heart and mind as much as I am yours. I shared with a dear friend my hesitancy to put my heart out there, knowing someone could throw it right back in my face. Please hear my voice as intended, a nudge out of our comfort zone and into the arms of Jesus, as we face our fears and loosen our control.

You see, so many of us are busy pursuing the American dream and using our own comforts to squelch the calling God gives to us all. We utter phrases to pacify: children are better off in their own culture, Jesus has a plan, God will take care of them, and someday (when we have reached our ideal status and attained the comforts we deem deserved) we will think about adoption. Here’s the problem Jesus does have a plan and God does have a way to take care of the orphan. He chooses to use us. WE are the solution. When countries shut down and children age out, we say “Don’t worry, God is in control”. Yes, that is very true, but what if we missed the opportunity? What if we were supposed to have made the difference in a child’s life? What if the plan was to use us and we didn’t heed the calling? What if we were too busy trying to fulfill our own desires?

I’ve uttered it too many times myself, “When the timing is right. When the right child comes along. When we have the money saved up to get started…” Now, I’ve missed the opportunity (for China at least). I’ve mourned every day for a year that we didn’t say yes sooner, that we didn’t commit just 2 weeks earlier, that our hesitation caused a child to wait and wait and wait. I still pray with my whole heart that China will open, but does that give me excuse? Does that mean that there aren’t other children waiting? While we sit and wait for the perfect timing and perfect circumstances, a child suffers. A child that is meant to be YOURS or MINE, that God is calling us to, waits. He goes to bed hungry. She sits alone in a crib all day. He is missing out on the medical care so desperately needed. She spends another night crying softly, realizing that no one is going to change her, bathe her, cuddle with her, or read stories to her. He stares out the bars on the windows and wonders what it would be like to run around outside and play.

WE are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. God DOES have a plan for the children that wait. HIS plan is US and WE are missing it! Please pray with me! Ask that God would speak LOUDLY to OUR hearts! Pray that WE would listen and have the courage to act! Not one of our adoptions was at the perfect time. Not once did we have the money needed at the beginning. Not one of our kiddos’ files spoke of needs we thought would be easy.

PLEASE LORD BREAK OUR HEARTS FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS!!

Life Changing Opportunity

I’m about to say some things that might be unpopular, but I am sharing from my heart and experience. 

I just returned home from the most amazing opportunity. I was able to spend every day for an entire week with the most precious children. A few of these children are listed and waiting, some of them do not have a file and are therefore unable to be adopted, and some have forever lost the possibility as they have aged out of the system. What I do know is that these kiddos are being loved and cared for… still, it’s not enough. They are being fed, taught, and cared for. But, it’s not a family. It’s not forever. I so often hear that these kiddos are better off in their home country and culture. This simply isn’t the case. 

These precious children have been cast aside, deemed unworthy, and experienced the unthinkable in their birth country. My heart aches for what they have experienced and my soul cries out for what will happen when they are recalled someday. Please do not fall into the trap of considering their temporary solution is a final one. These children NEED us! 

I have heard the stories of where these kiddos came from, the abuse they experienced at the hands of caretakers. I have watched as some of the most vulnerable were recalled and sent back. I cried along with those that love them as they are unable to offer protection forever. My heart hurts as some of the most vulnerable have aged out and I realize that there is no longer a way to ensure they will be safe. 

These beautiful children NEED us! I have held a 14 year old child as she shed silent tears. I have rubbed her back and whispered words of truth in her ears. I have told her that Jesus loves her and He will take care of her. But, WE MISSED the opportunity! WE didn’t answer the call! We lost the chance at giving her forever. 

PLEASE consider what YOU CAN DO!