Love is Patient

I had the privilege of helping out in the Kindergarten class this morning.  I love helping out in different roles and different capacities.  I learn so much.  This morning the kids’ lesson revolved around 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient, Love is kind”. I have to admit, I struggled with this a bit.  I knew God spoke those words, and I know I am NOT a patient person.  I thought, God is speaking to me about my wait for Emilyn.  But I didn’t get it.  How is being patient, loving her?

Then, on the way home I realized that I was applying it to the wrong situation!!  I was applying it to the easier part of my life.  Sure, I can try and be patient in the wait for Emilyn.  But, as amazing as it is, this isn’t where I struggle the most with patience and where it would manifest itself as love. 

I looked into the eyes of my precious son.  The son that I advocated, prayed, and fought for.  When it looked like there was no way to bring him home, we exhausted every option available.  To be honest, this is our hardest adoption. Just when I think we are getting somewhere and turning a corner, he has a rough day at school or blurts out and disrupts at Children’s Church.  I look into his eyes and feel extremely frustrated.  We have tried everything.  We have transitioned, time ins, time outs, extra time, holding, role playing, and schedules. It begins to feel like we will never truly “get there”.

That’s when it hit me… Love is patient… I have committed to loving this child.  I committed to loving him to the CCCWA in a letter of intent when we petitioned to adopt him and on the official adoption day.  I committed to loving him when taking an oath in the US Consulate.  But most importantly, I committed to God that I would love him when we dedicated him at church.  Love is patient…

I truly don’t believe he acts out due to spite.  He isn’t trying to be difficult.  It is a by-product of spending 7 years in an institution.  When I read about the effects of institutionalism on a person, I am amazed at how well he does.  I do believe he feels remorse, but the brain wires differently when a person is isolated and mistreated for that many years.  Love is patient…

I am so thankful for those of you who interact with our sweet boy. I apologize for the times when he is difficult to love. It is a struggle for those of us who have been educated about the effects of a trauma filled past, so I am sure it is even more so for those trying to understand.  Love is patient…

God taught me a tough lesson today.  I pray that I will remember it when the need arises.  I will no longer skim over this seemingly insignificant way of showing love.  I now know it is perhaps the most important one of all!